i try to maintain a healthy dose of daydreaming to stay sane.

Une histoire simple.

One month ago - 485 views
Une histoire simple.
This (gestures a tiny amount with my thumb and pointer finger) close to owning everything in this set, I just need the cardi and the jean jacket (sad face). About to order the tee and the shoes, and a similar skort. @glitterinmyviens literally only made this because of your comment <3333

no title

4 months ago - 1,106 views
no title
i dunno
@glitterinmyviens @lostinsuburbia made this for you two because I miss youu<3

hi

6 months ago - 1,707 views
hi
first set in a long time...
 
i miss you bbys:(((
@luxecouture
@istylista
@lostinsuburbia
@the-clary-project
@glitterinmyviens
@leboutonderose
 

@thatporcelaindoll I don't really miss you that much, so....
7 comments

SOS - tryout

8 months ago - 2,015 views
SOS - tryout
LOOK OUT BRUDDA, THAT BE ME ON THE BOTTOM LEFT. WUT. k.........
 
------
 
TRYOUT FOR SOS:
 
name: Marah Hudson
age: 18
birthday: December 3
year: Freshman
major: Photomedia
hometown: Seattle, Washington
style: Rocker street. Likes black, leather jackets, boots, and studs
biography: Marah had a hard childhood and it has made her tough because of it. She has a lot of tattoos and loves to drink and party. She wants to make something of herself. Marah is very into music and photography. You can always see her with a camera. Someday she knows she will be a famous photographer.
model: Valentina Ruby Sykes
taken by: open
 
▶Tell us about you.
I’m lactose-intolerant and allergic to gluten. If you’re interested in knowing, my favorite breakfast meal is a gluten-free toast with avocado and egg whites. I have a tattoo on the inside of my middle finger that says ‘Alive’. Because I’m alive, obviously. I have a tattoo of an eye that I designed on the side of the back of my neck…just so you know that I’m watching *chuckles*…nah, but I’m an observant person, and I take note of everything with my mental photography, as well as my camera, so I thought an eye would be appropriate. I enjoy taking advantage of the fact that I’m alive, so I party more than every once in a while, but I’m not abusive towards alcohol or anything; but I must say that getting drunk and high and that shit is nice sometimes to escape the past. I like escaping...whether it's physically, mentally, or whatever else there is. I don’t really like telling people too much about myself, or else what’s the point of getting to know me? It’s better to come to know me through a natural process of mutual inspirational moments. And I guess if you must know, I like to wear a shark tooth around my neck, just because. No reason for it, I’ve just kind of always done it. Sometimes I forget to wear it though since I can be quite forgetful. Oh and I’m really healthy, like I don’t eat shit; mostly raw veggies and stuff. Anyways..
 
▶How do you see yourself and how do others see you?
I see myself as someone confused. I know my dreams, but I don’t know reality. Reality knows me, but I am unfamiliar with it due to the fact that I enjoy escaping the truth of life: that we all die. Look, you’re not going to fucking live forever alright? Boss kids die too, we all do, young or old. My thoughts are all in a wreck and sometimes I don’t make sense to others, but I don’t mind. I like being in my own state of mind. I like being on a side that other people can’t experience. That’s why I photograph; I get the point of view other people don’t understand. The thing is, that with this point of view, outsiders don’t get that it takes a lot to be on that side. On that side of life, on that side of the camera. There’s so much the photographer has to do to get that inspirational photograph and people don’t understand that. People don’t understand that I’ve had to go through so much to – okay sorry, I’m throwing my life onto your shoulders. I’m done with this question. People think I’m different. And I simply do not care.
 
▶What is your history? Tell us about life growing up.
One thing you should know about me is that I have weaknesses….everyone does. But the difference with me and my weaknesses and you and your weaknesses is that you will never know what mine are, whereas you throw yourself out into the world as a pitiful little deer so that people can have pity for you, discover your weaknesses, and then eventually use them against you. It’s the realistic cycle really. And so, to answer your question, no, you cannot know my past and my childhood life. All I can say is that the biggest lie you can be told is that you are beautiful no matter what; especially if your whole life you were told how ugly you are and how you will never accomplish anything in life. I will be a fucking photographer and you will fucking know who I am one day. Alright?
 
▶What are your likes, dislikes, favorite bands, hobbies, ect?
I’m obsessed with Lana Del Rey, Sky Ferreira, Frank Ocean, The xx, The Shins, The Strokes, Nero, Skrillex, Of Monsters and Men and I could literally go on for eternity, but I’ll stop there. I like photography obviously, I love capturing every moment around me, it’s an invigorating feeling to press my finger until the button clicks; it makes me feel like I’ve just captured a moment forever, caught a cloud and sealed it into a jar. I’d say I dislike people, but I won’t say that since some people can actually be quite inspiring. I find that it’s crucial for someone to be an inspiration to you, or else it’s pointless for them to be integrated deeply into your life. Oh and I’m kind of crazy about people chewing with their mouth open…like don’t freaking do it alright? It annoys the shit out of me. I like daydreaming, and I wish unicorns were real.
 
▶Finally, If there was a quote to describe you, what would it be?
“My mum is a realist and my dad is a dreamer. I don’t know where that puts me, I guess a dreamer in reality” –Florence Welch
 
Answer these questions out of character-
▶Why do you want to be apart of this roleplay?
Okay. So basically, a lot of times that I’ve tried out for a character (I’m not saying all the times, but a lot of them..), I’ll make the set for the tryout and then make a set for it, but for Marah, I made the set last…I just immediately got to writing as her character. So I guess (to me at least) it shows that I really like Marah and I would really be a part of this roleplay to the greatest of my ability. I also just really think it’ll be really fun.
 
▶What other roleplays are you in and do you think you will be able to make at least one set a week (preferably more)?
None others, and yes.
 
▶List your top three character and model choices.
Marah Hudson
Dylan Foquix
Tallulah Maddox
 
▶Do you have some sort of storyline planned for your character? This question is really here so you can think about it. I really don't want people to tryout if they are going to stop writing by next week.
I really do have a storyline planned out for her and I’m really excited to see my character evolve and open up as I write for her.
 
~STORY~
 
I wonder if I’m the only one who’s ever had the feeling of absolutely no desire for the consumption of food…but then you eat anyways. While on the couch. Watching a documentary. On sheep. Maybe the latter isn’t as common, but I like to think everyone’s at least partially experienced the rest. Maybe it’s because I’m avoiding contact with any human being ever since I’ve decided that humans are boring. Not really, it’s more because I’m sitting pondering why I don’t have a boyfriend. I think it’s because I hesitate to be intimately involved with anyone because I have a hard time trusting. I once heard a saying, “If you don’t trust others, then you have a reason not to be trusted.” It’s true. You can’t trust Marah Hudson with a fucking avocado in her hand. But on a serious note…I just have a hard time trusting because I’ve learned since such a young age to be independent. Plus, why should I date a boy when all the boys out there are either cocky idiots or sensitive mush-heads. I want an inspiration. I want to date inspiration.
 
“Can I do that?” I think aloud. “Can I date inspiration?” I sort out my thoughts for a moment and conclude that it’s impossible. “Single with photographs forever, I guess that’s the reality of it,” I sigh. Tired of this mental subject, I get up and stand in the middle of the floor, inhaling deeply as I close my eyes. I spin around super, super fast with my hands tucked in and keep spinning. I release my hands and spin faster and faster until I stop suddenly. I collapse onto the rug and lay down, watching the ceiling as it spins around freely and endlessly, making me feel like a patient at a psychotic institute who sees things spin when they’re actually standing still, like sensory hallucinations. And this is how I spend my time alone.
 
My mind focuses back in on the sounds around me and I hear the television volume escalate as I get more in tune with reality once again. I turn quickly to the screen when I hear an enthusiastic voice advertising a showing in the town’s museum for photography and that entries are being accepted until Tuesday, September 25th and winners will be chosen the 26th. I sit up right immediately and my senses snap back even more quickly. This is a chance, chance to prove to myself and to the rest of the world who I am, an opportunity to take a small step towards a big dream. I’m going to do it. I scramble through piles of photographs, trying to find the perfect picture to send in. My frustration builds up as I realize none of them are perfect. I plop onto a chair as my enthusiasm deteriorates as I plant my face into the palms of my hands.
 
My head pops up. But art is not perfection. Art is whatever the artist wants it to be. My picture doesn’t have to be perfect, it can be imperfect yet perfect in my eyes because it will be whatever I want it to be. I’m the photographer, not them; they don’t know the emotion and passion for the shot I’ll turn in, as long as I know it.
 
Who am I kidding, that was the worst attempt at a self-motivating speech. And my head plops back down; except this time, on the edge of my desk. Ow.
"welcome to the life, maybe I'm good at living"
Happening // Chiddy Bang
 
Project Runway. Let's converse about it. COMMENT AT YOUR OWN RISK
<333333333333333333333

hullow

9 months ago - 1,469 views
hullow
OMG I AM SO SORRY THAT I HAVEN'T BEEN ON IN SO LONG AND HAVEN'T PM'D MY BESTIES I'M SO SORRY
 
i felt the need to put that in all caps because the urgency and sorrow and apologize-ness is quite great....
 
so yeah, basically i'm really sorry i haven't been on in forever! This summer has been so amazing, I've been loving it so so much:) I guess i just haven't had the time to come onto poly but i'm really glad i've had "some sort of contact" with some of you through instagram and such...if that counts...lol.
 
I'm publishing this and then I actually have to go, but tomorrow I'm getting back on and replying to all the messages in my inbox because I seriously do miss all of you and talking to you and making sets. Okay so I'll talk to you all tomorrow, love you all so much<3
just tagging the people in my inbox:)
@thatporcelaindoll
@midnightkisses
@istylista
@luxecouture
@glitterinmyviens
@lostinsuburbia
@the-clary-project
@leboutonderose
@deercat
@evebitchh

these dreams under pillowwwww

10 months ago - 1,359 views
these dreams under pillowwwww
White Nights // Oh Land
 
tag by @istylista!
 

1: Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
open

2: Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
no

3: Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
Um, out but they’re tucked in at the end of the bed..

4: Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
HA no

5: Do you like to use post-it notes?
No

6: Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
I don’t think I’ve ever cut out a coupon in my life

7: Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
A bear

8: Do you have freckles?
nope

9: Do you always smile for pictures?
no

10: What is your biggest pet peeve?
When people chew with their mouth open

11: Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
no

14: Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing?
yup

15: Do you chew your pens and pencils?
nah

16: […]

17: What size is your bed?
twin

18: What is your Song of the week?
Summertime Sadness by Lana del Ray

19: Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
depends

20: Do you still watch cartoons?
no

21: What’s your least favorite movie?
I’m not sure

22: Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
Madagascar

23: What do you drink with dinner?
I drink before or after dinner, but for some reason, not during..

24: What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
I don’t like chicken

25: What is your favorite food?
Lebanese food is the best in the world. Korean food is delicious too..

26: What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA

28: Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
In kindergarten I was a Daisy Girl Scout hehe I hated it

29: Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
no

30: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
A long time ago

31: Can you change the oil on a car?
nope

32: Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
No, I’m too scared of cops haha I’m so careful

33: Ever ran out of gas?
nope

34: Favorite kind of sandwich?
I love paninis

35: Best thing to eat for breakfast?
-Fruit with yogurt and granola

36: What is your usual bedtime?
Don’t have one…my sleep is so off, it’s really bad

37: Are you lazy?
YES

38: Do you have any beauty marks/moles?
I have those really small freckle-sized ones here and there…

39: Have you ever traveled outside of your country?
Yeahh

40: How many languages can you speak?
3, working on five

41: Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
No, I just buy the magazines every month from a store

42: Which are better legos or lincoln logs?
Lincoln logs

43: Are you stubborn?
I’m known for being so stubborn

44: Who is better...Leno or Letterman?
idk

45: Ever watch soap operas?
nah

46: Are you afraid of heights?
Kinda, yes

47: Do you sing in the car?
Oh my gosh all the time

48: Do you sing in the shower?
No shame

49: Do you dance in the car?
No..

50: Ever used a gun?
nope

51: Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
When I was like, 6

52: Do you think musicals are cheesy?
I’m not a fan of musicals tbh

53: Is life stressful?
Yeah, but I love life

54: Ever eat a pierogi?
Honestly, I don’t know what that is

55: Favorite type of fruit pie?
Apple pie all the wayyy

56: Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
Lawyer lol….such a nerd

57: Do you swear/curse?
Meh, at times

58: Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
yup

59: Take a vitamin daily?
no

60: Wear slippers?
Haha no

61: Wear a bath robe?
no

62: What do you wear to bed?
depends

63: First concert?
Um…I’ve never been to a concert…my first one is going to be Usher in December I think because my friend is family friends with him and his family

64: Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
Target..

65: Nike or Adidas?
Ooooo, hard one, I like both.

66: Cheetos Or Fritos?
Cheetos although I hate junk food..

67: Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
Bleh, if I had to chooseeeee: sunflower seeds

68: Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?
nope

69: Ever take dance lessons?
Yeah, I did ballet for six years when I was little…now I do Olympic-style tae kwon do..go figure lol

70: Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
Um, no. just hopefully one that makes lots of money. Sorry that sounds superficial, but I wanna go shopping. A lot.

71: Can you curl your tongue?
no

72: Ever won a spelling bee?
Nerd ova heeerrreeee, yup several times

73: Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
Yes….one time, most emotional time of my life that I will never forget for the remainder of my life.

74: Own any record albums?
Haha yeahh

75: Own a record player?
yup

76: Regularly burn incense?
Yeah in my backyard, to get me in the mood for barbecuing insects…wtf. Lmao.

77: Ever been in love?
Yeah…

78: Who would you like to see in concert?
-Ed Sheeran, Fun., Augustana, Oh Land, Lana Del Ray, Ron Pope, Bon Iver, so many more

79: What was the last concert you saw?
That really awesome one that doesn’t exist

80: Hot tea or cold tea?
hot

81: Tea or coffee?
tea

82: Sugar or snickerdoodles?
neither

83: Can you swim well?
I mean, yeah, I guess

84: Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
yeah

85: Are you patient?
NO hahahaha

86: DJ or band, at a wedding?
dj

87: Ever won a contest?
yupp

88: Ever have plastic surgery?
no

89: Which are better black or green olives?
Black olives…kalamata to be exact

90: Can you knit or crochet?
no

91: Best room for a fireplace?
Living room

92: Do you want to get married?
Honestly, I don’t know yet. I’d like to, but idk.

93: If married, how long have you been married?
37 years. Kidding, just in case some of you guys take everything seriously..

95: Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
no

96: Do you have kids?
89 wonderful children.

97: Do you want kids?
idkkkkkk

98: Whats your favorite color?
Black

99: Do you miss anyone right now?
No, not really
 
i tag:
@thatporcelaindoll
@leboutonderose
...i think my other friends already got tagged sooo..
5 comments

what happens when the fairy tale ends?

10 months ago - 1,789 views
what happens when the fairy tale ends?
I'm so depressed right now, like, there's nothing left for me to do. I can't do anything anymore. That's it.
 

credit to @thatporcelaindoll with the picture layout and suchhhhh
7 comments

vlv

10 months ago - 1,916 views
vlv
neon river // keane
 
VLV TRYOUT:
The one that lost what she was looking for
Maelle [Mae] Ferreira – 28
Known as: “The Other One”
• Biography: Maelle and her little sister, August, are like each others’ halves; they do everything together, they drink at parties together, they match shoes…you get the point, it’s an oddly close relationship. All the times that Maelle came to the beach house in her younger years were because she was trying to escape she and her sister’s relationship. They’re like twins, but August is cooler, younger (yet acts like she’s the older sibling), acts wealthier, is brutally honest, and many other things; people just happen to have more of a liking for August and Mae has lost herself trying to be more like her sister. Mae is a chill girl who likes to listen to various beats on her headphones whereas August enjoys drinking with boys in a hot tub. These two girls grew up side-by-side, not having any responsible parents to help since their parents are always in a business meeting; so, they had each others’ backs at all times, especially when Mae was treated poorly in school. In all this mess of differences, Mae has felt herself disappear as she yearns to be someone she’s not and she needs to come back to the beach house where she feels her borderline creepy relationship with her sister diminishes as a result of being with people who have always accepted her for who she is, especially Timothy. With Timothy, she’d stay up sleepless nights and build forts out of bed sheets and tell her deepest darkest secrets, as would he. They’d act like little children again, exposing their true flesh, and Mae would actually feel comfortable in her own skin. Mae has a whimsy, adventurous side; it’s just been hidden on a bookshelf because she doesn’t want to reveal it. Let’s see where Mae takes Mae on an exploration at this beach house, not August. Maybe she’s exploring herself.
• Why she is returning to the beach house: to find herself after endless years of not knowing who she is anymore
Occupation: Her parents are keeping her going for now, but she has many paying internships lined up at the moment. She’s also lined up to take over her parents’ company with her sister soon.
Relationship status: None serious, because she doesn’t feel comfortable revealing her true self and so the relationships are never comfortable nor genuine…except at the beach house with Timothy.
Other notable relationships: Her sister is her other half
Model: Aline Weber
 
Story:
 
I stand awkwardly approximately fifty feet away from the first step of the beach house, then realize the reason I’m standing lop-sided is because the heavy bag on my right shoulder is weighing me down, so I drop the bag onto the dirt-and-sand-mixed ground. My blonde hair is faintly waving, strands sticking to my lips every now and then. My hair is still short, still after all these years, almost dead even in the life of the wind. I just stare at the beach house. I can’t move my feet, they’re almost plastered to the ground. I don’t know what’s holding me back; maybe it’s the fear of these lovely friends not accepting me anymore, maybe it’s the worrisome feeling that Timothy isn’t going to be the same anymore, or maybe I’m just a nervous wreck as always.
 
I see some cars, a couple of vans (some are soccer moms now?), parked into the patch of grass on the side of the house, which is odd because we used to all climb into each others’ cars rather than each bring our own. The music is still playing in my ears as I observe the house from top to bottom, examining every detail, comparing and contrasting its features from the past and the now. I can’t hear a thing but the beat of the song reverberating against the walls of my brain as my eyes direct themselves toward the top left window; the window that has a view to the ocean, the window that is part of a room of memories. My pupils stay glued to the window for some time as my mind races back through time; the flashlights under the sheets reading poems at three in the morning, the sore stomach from being tickled so hard, the Christmas lights around the bed posts in the middle of the summer. I look at the bottom left corner of the window and see something hairy moving. Ew ew, what if it’s a rat!? The hairy thing gets higher and higher and I see a face connected to the hair. The face looks outside and it’s Ti –
 
Timothy. It’s him, oh my goodness. The glimmer in his eyes is so recognizable, I just know it’s him immediately. The music suddenly slows down and dies to a whisper as I slowly pull them off my ears and rest them around my neck. I realize we’re still staring at each other and pull my eyes away and towards the ground as my head arches forward to hide a smile. I realize that I have no idea how to greet Timothy, or anyone for that matter, after all these years, and panic begins to rush through my membrane. What if they’re all truly grown-ups now? Real adults? No more child-like thoughts? Too mature to laugh? Timothy’s twenty-nine now…what if he doesn’t like to giggle or tickle me anymore or write poems until the crack of dawn? Panic mode has officially begun.
 
I turn around and quickly walk to the grouping of plants to the side and sit on a patch of the ground with my head between my knees. I just need to be myself, like I’ve always been around Timothy and, well, everyone here surprisingly. August isn’t here, she can’t help me and I can’t do what she’s doing anymore; I’m on my own, and to be honest, I feel lost. It feels nice to be free in some sense, but I feel like I have no direction on where to start with this embarking of a journey to rewind and find the real Maelle again. The whimsy Maelle who likes quirky things like garden parties and weaving flower crowns. I strike a conversation with myself about how I’d greet Timothy.
 
“Hey Timothy! It’s been forever, how have you been?” No, that sounds so fake…not me.
 
“Timothy! I’ve missed you so much, tell me everything!” No, that’s so general, no warmth at all.
 
“Timmy, it’s so great to see you, I can’t believe we’re all here again!” Ugh, so generic, I can’t even bear to hear myself say it again.
 
I close my eyes and hope he’ll come out and find me…
 
- - - - -
 
wowwwww ahahah what a terrible ending lol i didn't know how to end it
6 comments
"C'est dans ma nature et c'est dans mon sang, un poison violent, mélange de mes parents"
Bar de L'Hotel by Raphael
 
^love that artist and this song
 
going to Dallas in a bit more than a week for Junior Olympics! I can't wait. There's all these hot guys on my team and we're gonna be traveling and stuff, I'm so excitedd. I mean, hot tub + hot guys + hot weather = something hot right? lol
 
@luxecouture and @withlove-kirsten and @emmylou this is a possible tryout for VLV! Just a question..so do I make my own bio? The idea is so incredible, I'm so excited<3
 
Those shoes make me think of something Alexa Chung would wear